Excerpt from an e-mail to a friend today about where I am in my prayers and plans about doing the year's fellowship with International Justice Mission (IJM):
[...]
Anyways, thanks for your e-mail. I've been meaning to talk to you again
about those things. Not only because I did want to talk to you more
about the things God's been showing me in that respect since the last
time we talked, but also because I actually have to let my office know
before the end of this month if I actually do intend to go... so things
are heating up!
[...]
So the way things have been going the last few months, I'm
definitely having the impression that God has put this thing on my heart
to do so I'm praying with that in mind. My problem is not knowing
whether God means for me to be planning to go somewhere for life or only
for a shortterm thing, like a year. Things seem to be really lining up
for me to take the year and go, but at the same time, I'm not sure I can
see myself coming back afterwards and defending [medical practitioners] for the rest of my life. I just don't
believe that's what God made me for, [...] I feel like there's got to be something else that I can
do for God with my life. I've dedicated my life to God for his service,
I'm just waiting for the marching orders. If he wants me to be in
Toronto, then that's cool, but I just feel like there's got to be
something else I should be doing with my 40 hours a week of work time
besides pushing papers and earning an income. I know he'll make it clear
in his own time, but in the meantime, it makes it hard to know what to
tell my office about what I'm going to do. I wouldn't feel right telling
them I'll be back at the end of the year if that isn't how things are
gonna roll... so I'm praying about that.
So at this point, I believe God is leading me to take the year
that's been handed to me and do a fellowship with International Justice
Mission. At first I assumed I would be going for life, but the more I
pray about it, the more it seems as though it might just be for the year
with a sort of "stand by for further instructions" sign at the end of
it. My four big hurdles right now are:
1. My family. [...]
2. My roommates. [...]
3. The girls. [Youth Group girls] While I know God can raise up people to take over the
work, I am still quite concerned about what will happen to teen night if
we all scatter. Those girls mean a lot to me and I know teen night
means a lot to them. And they're getting to that age where its really
important to have a safe place to hangout on a Friday night -- let alone a
place to hear the gospel and get saved!
4. My job. While it was truly an amazing answer to prayer for my
bosses to say that they'd consider letting me take a year off if I gave
them a year's notice, who knows whether they'd actually be as agreeable
to the idea in reality as they were in theory. I am still concerned that
if I tell them this month that I plan to be gone from June 2013 to June
2014 that they'll freak out and fire me or something.
So those are the biggest things on my mind right now. I need to
spend more time praying about them. In the meantime, the deadline is
looming (if I go with IJM, the first week of June is the orientation
week that everyone must attend so it would be from June to June).
I can't remember if, when I was talking to you last, I had
definitely decided that IJM was where God was leading me or not, but if
not I guess what I'll say is that while I found it disappointing that
IJM doesn't have an office where I would like to be (i.e. Haiti), I am
really impressed with what I've learned about their model of how they
operate around the world to spread the gospel and bring justice to the
oppressed. I really feel like if the Lord ever leads me to do work in
Haiti, it would be good to have had some hands on experience with how
IJM goes about doing what they do so that I might be able to find a way
to integrate my life for God and my work in a way that glorifies him in
Haiti, Toronto, or elsewhere. I don't know how that would look just yet,
but I'm trusting God to make it clear at the right time.
Hmm... I think that's about it on that subject. Hopefully that gives
you a little bit more to work with as to where I'm at ;) sorry its so
long! I know you just wanted an outline (I can get a little verbose ;)
I would love to talk to you guys more about it sometime, and to tell
you more about Swaziland (which did not go at all as I had planned! I
can't remember how much I already told you about the trip... its been
awhile!)
[...]
